Creepy Fortune Palace

Monday, August 20, 2012

You will achieve greatness...

through extraordinary obesity.

Sooner or later, adoration will end in disgust.

The road to hell is paved with fake smiles.

Afterwards, you will realize that the painful burning was the best part.

There are no more special moments in store for you.

Aim low; shoot the knees.

Position yourself for success; women should be on top.

Forget about the past; it has already forgotten about you.

Your veil of competence wears dangerously thin; seek alternative employment.

Endure insults by taking comfort in elaborate fantasies of violent revenge.

You will experience full frontal nudity under unfortunate circumstances.

It takes a village to raise an idiot.

People can hear you smiling.

People can’t take their eyes off of you. You hold their attention like a train wreck strewn with gored bodies.