Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Cookie #3124

Spend the afternoon fantasizing about how sad everyone would be if you died, then grab a sandwich.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Cookie #3123

You may not have nerves of steel, but you sure as hell have a bottle of vodka.

Monday, February 27, 2012

Cookie #3122

When you see people smiling to themselves, it’s because they can hear what you’re thinking.

Friday, February 24, 2012

Cookie #3121

An eye for an eye, a garden gnome for a garden gnome..... Context is everything.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Cookie #3119

Fortune favors the brave, Creepy Fortune Palace favors the paranoid and insecure.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Cookie #3118

Your name is synonymous with the rancid paste of sweat, dead skin and bacteria found in unwashed folds of skin.

Friday, February 17, 2012

Cookie #3116

The more people that engage in activity, the less chance there is of ethical faults in that activity being discovered.  Stay with the crowd.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Cookie #3114

Wakeboarding in the river of tears is strictly prohibited.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Cookie #3113

When others recoil from your touch, you know it’s time to stop being such a nasty little dick.

Monday, February 13, 2012

Cookie #3112

The coolest smart phone will still lose a fight with a hammer.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Cookie #3110

High principles will only get you ostracized; sacrifice honor at the altar of popularity.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Cookie #3109

The source of your high self-esteem is a mystery to us all.

Monday, February 6, 2012

Friday, February 3, 2012

Cookie #3107

You were walking.  You saw the coin.  You did not stop to collect it; it was filthy and you deemed it of little value. You were condemned.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Cookie #3106

Be ready! The defining moment of your life will come while you are toileting.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012