Cookie #3259

You've spent a lifetime getting to this moment. Frankly, we expected more from you.

Cookie #3258

Better to stand firmly on a foundation built from lies than teeter in the shifting sand of inconvenient truths.

Cookie #3257

Emotional honesty is another world.  Once you take up residence, you see that people of other worlds are poor and primitive. Sadly, they also seem happier.

Cookie #3256

Undying love is really just a love between two zombies.

Cookie #3255

Don't touch the silver linings; they're fashioned from mercury and lead.

Cookie #3254

Don't worry, that guy wasn't on the phone with the government discussing your case.  He was just talking to the hospital about the plan to have you committed.

Cookie #3252

You never dreamed you'd become the poster child for poor hygiene.

Cookie #3240

The cold shower forestalls the cold shoulder.

Cookie #3253

You have been played.

Cookie #3251

Their plan to discredit you is working.

Cookie #3250

On the outside, people think you're having a seizure. On the inside, you know you're dancing.

Cookie #3249

It's time to reexamine your position on slime.

Cookie #3248

Take a vacation from discipline: take a crap in your pants.

Cookie #3247

Be careful.  People with disabilities can still kick your ass.

Cookie #3246

Become the predator you fear.

Cookie #3245

Take a nap.  Your life won’t be any better when you wake up, but it will be a little shorter.

Cookie #3244

Channel perversions through alternate online identities.

Cookie #3243

If you order the Lamb of God, ask for the sauce on the side.  

Cookie #3242

Your insecurities make you too weak to have faith in those who deserve your trust.

Cookie #3241

You will enjoy spontaneous occlusion of a favorite orifice.